


Tony's Seven-Day Recovery Program

by kraefandoms



Category: Avengers infinity war - Fandom, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), avengers endgame - Fandom
Genre: Art, Canon Compliant, Five Stages of Grief, Fix-It, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-23 16:16:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18553309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kraefandoms/pseuds/kraefandoms
Summary: The journey home seems a lot longer than it is.





	1. Day 0 - The Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How could this happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know, It's supposedly like five years in between Infinity War and Endgame but fuck that.

Tony’s really just stunned.  
They weren’t supposed to lose.  
And certainly not like this.  
He sits on the floor, among the ash, and pushes a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath.  
It’s all he can do to not just fucking shatter and break.  
He has fallen before, but he can’t remember it ever hurting like this before.  
The other one on the planet, Nebula, he remembers, puts a hand on his shoulder, and sits next to him.  
He can’t help but to stiffen a little at the touch, but her hand moves quickly, and he can pretend that it didn’t happen.  
“Fuck,” she says, “God fucking-” her fist clenches, but she unclenches it just as quickly as she runs her hand through the ash, trying to hold onto it.  
“Yeah, I know,” Tony says. It’s all he can think of to say, considering the circumstances. Sure, it’s very possible everyone he’s ever known is dead, but she just lost her sister, because Thanos fucking sacrificed her to achieve this. His goal.  
She stares at the horizon, and Tony sticks his hand back in the ash. “We should take them back to Earth.”  
Her head snaps up. “What?”  
“I,” Tony sighs, shaking his head, “I need to get back to Earth. It’s my home. And I know some of these guys should be coming home with me. And I don’t think I can get home alone, so I’ll need your help, and I think you’d miss some of these guys if you left them here.”  
“Yeah, okay,” she says, standing up. “Let me see if I can get one of the ships running. You down to help?”  
Tony pushes himself, despite the ache spreading through his body from his heart to his bones. “Yeah, might as well try.”  
Nebula sighs, and they walk, leaving the ash behind them for now.  
“I can’t fucking believe we lost,” he whispers, and Nebula lets a breath go, sharp and quick, and Tony can feel her mentally pushing her way through the loss.  
“Well, you better, because here we are.” She gestures at the dead world around her, and Tony can’t help but to look at the golden dust of the landscape around them. Any other time, it’d be sort of beautiful in a dead haunted sort of way.  
Right now, he just feels like his soul has been turned into the landscape, and he can feel the winds of sorrow scouring his heart and mind.  
He ends up just watching as Nebula kicks the metal of the ship he came in on. He stares emptily at it, feeling hollow like the ship, half torn away by mistakes of the past.  
“It’s my fault,” he whispers, sitting down onto the rocks nearby.  
“What?” Nebula asks, looking him in the eye.  
“It’s my fault,” he repeats, and she scoffs.  
“Buddy, if it were your fault, you’d have the whole world wishing you were dead right now.”  
“Been there, done that,” Tony says, and Nebula gives him a pitying look, but he chooses to ignore it.  
“Well, that just means you’ve made a mistake in the past. But the past surely can’t help us now,” she insists.  
Tony decides to shut up, and they look at the ship, crawling inside, deeper and deeper.  
Nebula knows her way through the catacomb inside, and Tony lets her lead him through the metal tunnels until they find what they’re looking for.  
“It’s not designed to go fast, but it’s what we got,” she said, brushing over a label and quickly typing in a password on the keypad underneath.  
“What is it?” Tony asks, craning to look inside the room that opens up, the door scraping the ground as it reveals a small vehicle.  
“Technically, an escape pod,” Nebula explains. “But currently, it’s our way off this hell planet.”  
She forces open the door, and they walk inside. Tony spots jars along the wall, on the simple shelves lining the entrance, and grabs them.  
“Well, plot a course, or whatever, I guess. I’m going to get our friends,” he lifts the jars to show her, and she nods.  
“Be back soon,” she replies, as she turns to the control panel.  
Tony stumbles out into the halls, and retraces his steps, following the dust on the ground where they tracked the sand through the ship. He follows the golden lines, not looking up, and he hugs the jars close to his chest.  
All he can think is that this shouldn’t be happening.  
When he opens the door to the outside, he expects to be blinded by the harsh tawny light, but it’s dimmer now, and he realises the sun is setting.  
Gold, orange, olive stain the sky as it turns purple, and he wonders what the sky looks like at night here.

Suddenly, Tony imagines Peter bouncing up and down, excited, asking him what he thinks the stars will look like from here, and Tony almost does break down as the emotions crash into him, drowning him, and it’s all he can do to not crumple, to break apart, all alone on the planet where he lost too much.  
But he’s lost too much before, so he pushes himself forward as he stumbles to the battlefield.  
He can’t really tell who’s who, even with his memory of where they were standing, so he does his best, and uses his nanotech to label the jars.  
He doesn’t even realise he’s crying until he sees the tears land in the engravings, and they blur his vision, turning the darkening gold sand into a solid dark orange, and he brushes them away as quickly as he can.  
But they keep falling, and he pulls Peter’s jar to his chest, rocking back a little.  
He would have given anything for it to have been him instead of the kid.  
He doesn’t hear Nebula come up behind him, but he does notice her pick up the jars, and he tries to brush the tears away in vain again as he looks up at her.  
“Sorry,” he whispers, his voice cracking.  
She doesn’t say anything, just offers him her hand, and he grabs it, a lifeline back to the living, and he lets her pull him up, as he continues to cradle the jar to his chest.  
They walk to the ship, letting the silence speak for them.  
“It’ll take a week to get to Earth,” she says, breaking the wind’s monologue.  
He looks at her. “Okay,” he replies, his voice surprisingly calm and stable again.  
She leads him to a seat, and she takes the jars and puts them back on the shelves. She returns to the helm, and starts up the engine.  
Looking over her shoulder, she murmurs “You should get some sleep while you can.”  
Tony nods, and finds fatigue already gripping him, dragging him into the darkness.  
His last thought is I wonder what she means by while I can before the darkness crashes over him like a wave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link for art: https://kraefandoms.tumblr.com/post/184353257499


	2. Day 1 - The Blame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HHH they have issues

He wakes up, panicked, scrambling to get a hold on reality while the ghosts keep calling him.  
You’re the one to blame, you killed us, this is your fault, we should be alive, why aren’t you dead, too many people he loves and cares about scream at him, Peter, Steve, Stephen, Rhodes, Pepper, Natasha, the list goes on and Tony can’t shake it from his mind.  
He thinks about his terrible dream, how they fought the monster in the closet and it won, and they died, but when he realises that he’s not in his bed at home with Pepper, he knows that part of it wasn’t a dream.  
The monster in his closet had won.  
He feels nauseous, and his breath comes in short gasps, and tears threaten to blind him again.  
Lucky for him, however, a distraction arrives. “So glad to know you’re awake,” Nebula drawls.  
“Don’t you sleep?” Tony asks, trying to distract from the fact that he’s obviously a mess, only half-awake, almost in tears again and on the verge of a panic attack because his demons hadn’t prepared him for the devil.  
Nebula shrugs. “I don’t really need to, because at this point I’m more robot than human, but I could if I wanted to. The ship’s practically on auto-pilot.”  
Tony nods, and Nebula stands up to grab something. She throws it at him, not nicely, but Tony catches it, hearing the crunch of plastic as he closes his fist.  
He opens it to reveal a package with some unknown language. “Are you sure it’s safe for me to eat?”  
Nebula shrugs. “Humans can eat a lot of things that other aliens can’t. So if an alien can eat it, it’s good for a human.”  
Tony decides to take her word, and opens the package suspiciously and takes a sniff. It smells salty, vaguely fishy, but his stomach grumbles at him, and he realises he can’t remember the last time he ate, though it had to be yesterday at lunch, with Pepper.  
God, it certainly didn’t seem like yesterday.  
He ends up devouring the package, quickly eating it. It certainly isn’t bad tasting, salty with a hint of a sweet fishy flavour that reminds him of the time he tried eel sushi for the first time with Pepper, but that just makes him sad, so he blocks out the memory.  
God, he has no idea who even is still alive.  
He thinks of the people back home - Steve, Wong, Bucky, Pepper, Happy, T’Challa, Sam, Rhodes, Scott, Clint, Natasha, Wanda. He knows Vision has to be dead - for Thanos to have won, he would’ve needed the Mind Stone, and that was in the middle of Vision’s fucking forehead.  
“Hey, you okay? You look a little like you want to be dead,” Nebula brings him back to reality, and he rolls his eyes.  
“I’m told that normal for me,” Tony replies, sassing his way out of an emotional talk, because he knows he could not do that right now.  
She already refuses to believe that Thanos winning was Tony’s fault, but she was there.  
She knows how Thanos got the Time Stone.  
And despite Stephen saying it was the only way, Tony still blames himself.  
For who else could he blame? Certainly no one on Earth, certainly not Stephen, not Star-Lord, because his reaction was perfectly normal in Tony’s eyes.  
He couldn’t blame Thanos because Thanos was never trying to stop the destruction of the universe.  
Well, maybe he was in his own way, but Tony couldn’t blame him for failing to save the people he cared about.  
The only one he has to blame is himself.  
And sure, maybe the people on Earth could have done something, Tony muses, but Tony knew what the Time Stone could do.  
No one on Earth could stop that.  
“Dude,” a voice interrupts him again. “You’ve been staring off at nothing for the past half hour.”  
“Huh?” Tony says, looking up.  
Nebula sits down, sighing. “You got to tell me what’s up,” she says, staring Tony in the eye.  
He shifts uncomfortably, feeling her gaze bore into his skin, tearing into it as if she could uncover his thoughts by tearing him apart with her eyes.  
“It’s my fault,” he murmurs.  
She groans, rolling her eyes. “We’ve been over this, Stark, no it’s not.”  
“Yes it is!” He insists. “Strange gave Thanos the Time Stone because I almost died!”  
Nebula sighs, not sure how to reply. Then she blinks.  
“Didn’t he look at a bunch of futures before hand?”  
“Well, yes, and he did say it was the only way, but he also said we won!” Tony looks her dead in the eye. “Does this look like winning?”  
Nebula looks at the ground, her turn for avoiding eye contact.  
“Because if this is winning,” Tony scoffs. “What were those other times we thought we won?”  
“You’ve never had to face an Infinity Stone before, much less four,” Nebula says, looking up at him.  
“Wrong,” Tony says. “I have faced an Infinity Stone before. The Space and the Mind Stones.”  
Nebula looks up in awe. “Damn.”  
“So, yeah, it is my fault,” Tony continues, ignoring her.  
Nebula pauses. “Or this is meant to happen, and we haven’t won yet.”  
Tony frowns and thinks about that. “How can we beat someone with all six Infinity Stones?”  
Nebula shrugs. “I don’t know. But I do know that if you keep dwelling on the past, you won’t get anywhere. Take it from me.”  
Tony sighs and wanders around the ship. It’s small, and he can feel Nebula’s eyes follow him. He pauses by the shelves, and stares at the ash, the glass between him and the dead shining faintly under the light from the stars outside. “The past is what motivates people. If we let the past lay, then why would we focus on defeating Thanos?” He asks, looking her dead in the eye.  
Nebula sighs aggressively, throwing her hands up in the air. “If blaming yourself for something that’s not your fucking fault is what helps us defeat Thanos, then knock yourself the fuck out. But when you come to your goddamn senses, I hope you will realise the only one we can blame for their deaths,” she points at the jars, “is Thanos.”  
She storms off to the helm, and Tony knows that it must be his fault anyway.  
Why else would she be so angry?


	3. Day 2 - Memoriam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The memories, good and bad

“ _ Mr. Stark, why didn’t you do anything?” The voice calls out, small and scared, and it brings tears to Tony’s eyes. _

_ “Peter,” he whispers, turning to the boy, and Tony can’t breathe, he can’t speak, his lungs and heart are failing him and all he can think is everything he wants to say. _

_ “Well, Tony? We’d love an answer,” another voice demands Tony’s attention, and Tony’s stomach turns in knots as he faces his ghosts. _

_ “Bucky…” he starts, but he hasn’t found the words, the apologies, to give out. _

_ “Why aren’t you doing anything? I told you it had to be this way, so fix it!” Stephen shouts from behind him. _

_ “Why couldn’t you have stayed on Earth? At least we’d be dead together,” Pepper screams, dragging Tony close. _

_ The tears start flooding his vision. _

_ “I told you we’d lose together, but you couldn’t even manage that,” Steve scoffs, crossing his arms. _

_ “How could you fail us like that?” Rhodes asks, brushing his own tears away. _

_ And the ghosts close in, and the tears blind Tony as he spins in circles, trying to address them, to calm them, to silence them, to help them move on so that he might be able to as well. _

_ But he has no success. The vultures just keep circling, circling, and Tony spins and spins, trying to face them all. _

_ But who can face their worst nightmare, especially alone? _

The thought wakes Tony up, and he gasps as he listens to the silence.

But the thought nags at him.

It brings up a memory of a different nightmare, but not so different.

The stars had surrounded him there, too, and the ghosts had pulled on him, asking him how he could have failed them.

That nightmare had been artificial, one of Wanda’s tricks to scare him, and scare him it had.

But that had been nothing compared to having lived through it, awake, and knowing it was real.

But it does remind him to remember what he might have lost and what he knows for sure is gone, because the past is a great motivator.

He knows Nebula thinks the past will follow him like a mad dog until he lets go, but maybe a mad dog is what he needs to fight this.

So he continues laying down, staring out the window, and he thinks.

He thinks of Peter’s smile, his laughter, his obsession with “old movies,” how he looked up to him, how he still expected Tony to fix this, how if he were alive he still would, and Tony knows he needs to do this.

He thinks of Stephen’s words, how he switched so quickly from “I won’t trade the Time Stone” to “It was the only way,” how sadly he looked at Tony, and Tony knows he can’t let Stephen down.

He thinks of Star-Lord’s grief, how he was ready to fight everything for Gamora, how he was ready to be impromptu and follow his emotions, how he did listen to himself and did what he felt he had to, and Tony knows that listening to his emotions should inspire him, and currently he is listening to himself scream out that he needs to fix this.

He thinks of Steve, and of Peggy’s funeral, and of Sharon’s words: “Compromise where you can, and where you can’t, don’t,” and Tony knows that his godmother’s words still hold true, and that he needs to take a page from Steve’s book and listen to her.

He thinks of Pepper, and he knows he has to return home to her. Even if she’s dead, he has to pay his respects and let her know how much he loves her. He knows she will want him to stay, not to fix this in fear he will fuck it up more, but how much more can he ruin the situation they’re already in? Tony can feel her worry and knows he will have to apologize, because he’s about to break her heart again.

He thinks of Rhodes, his dearest friend, through thick and thin. When everyone told Rhodes that Tony had probably died in Afghanistan, he hadn’t listened. He didn’t care if death had claimed Tony, he was ready to fight for his friend anyway, and Tony knows he will follow Rhodes’ steps to fight death and Thanos themselves to help fix this.

He thinks of Natasha, and her bold attitude. 

He thinks of Clint, and his deadly aim. 

He thinks of Bruce, and how he used his anger. 

He thinks of Wanda, and how she manipulated everything to fight for what she believed in. 

He thinks of Sam, and how he was loyal to the end, even if he might have disagreed. 

He thinks of Bucky, and how his past might have defined him, but so did his future. 

He thinks of Vision, and how knowledge wasn’t wisdom, and how sometimes you had to try something to learn from it. 

He thinks of Thor, and how even gods fought until the end, whether there would be one for them or not. 

He thinks of T’Challa, and how it is important to understand your enemy when you fight them, for if you understand their motivation, you can understand how to defeat them. 

Tony wants to remember them all, and he thinks of all the important lessons to learn from each of them. He’s going to need the wisdom he has learned from them, and if he’s lucky, the wisdom he has yet to learn.

He thinks of himself, and his own past, and he knows all of what happened has lead him to this point. He’s not sure he believes in God anymore, but there might still be fate and destiny, so the present might be for a reason, his fault as he thinks or no. Tony knows he needs to learn from his past and apply it to his future, his mistakes, his successes, all of it.

Even the ones he doesn’t want to remember - Peter’s death, Civil War, Ultron, the wormhole and his anxiety attacks, the palladium poisoning, Obadiah's betrayal, Afghanistan, his mother’s death, and on the list goes.

He knows Nebula would tell him that the past hurts, if he’s listened to anything she’s had to say when he starts blaming himself. 

But he disagrees.

He knows that the past teaches you, and those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it, right?

So he stands and holds all these memories close as he stares into the stars anyways. 

How many stars had planets that Thanos ruined life for? 

How many Earths need to be avenged?

Tony sighs. 

He’s an Avenger for a reason, right?

It must be time to act like it.


	4. Day 3 - Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love Tony Stark

Tony stares out into the darkness.  
He’s almost half-way home, and the closer he gets, the more he’s afraid.  
Who knows what he will find when he gets back?  
Tony doesn’t really talk to Nebula about these fears. She’s already focused on reminding him that it’s not his fault, that he can’t change the past but only the future, and he would feel bad adding to that.  
Besides, he’s worried about her.  
He can tell that the cyborg is nowhere near as strong as she seems, and he wonders what made her so.  
She wanders and sits next to him, and they let the silence and starlight consume them.  
Tony doesn’t actually know how to tell Nebula that he’s worried about her.  
So he starts by asking her about herself, small things. At the beginning, she replies in short answers, seeming uncomfortable about revealing anything about herself, but she loosens up, and eventually they’re playing 20 Questions (Endless Version). Then he asks a question that gets him to where he wants to be, and he’s not sure what to do now he’s there.  
“How’d you become a cyborg?”  
She falls silent immediately, the mood dying, and Tony immediately knows he’s overstepped, and he tries to backtrack.  
“Y-You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” He rushes through the sentence, hoping the quicker he says it, the less damage that will be done.  
“No, it’s okay,” she replies. “Thanos would put me and Gamora against each other. And each time I lost, he would replace part of me with metal.”  
Tony looks down, knowing his worries are true, that the universe wasn’t kind to his friend. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs.  
She looks up. “Why? There’s nothing you can do.”  
Tony shrugs. “I don’t know, it’s kind of an Earth thing, apologize when you feel bad. I guess it’s more an apology for bringing it up.”  
Nebula smiles ruefully. “Well, at least you never have to go through something like that.”  
Tony pauses, suddenly somewhere else.  
Subconsciously, he raises a hand to his chest, and taps his ribcage.  
Nebula suddenly freezes. “I am right, aren’t I?”  
Tony tries to shake himself out of the memory. “Well, I never had to fight anyone, but my father’s choices certainly lead to being part metal, and I don’t mean my suit,” he adds, chuckling hastily.  
“What happened?” She asked.  
“Oh, it was a long time ago, and it’s no longer metal. But we’ll just say that weapons are dangerous things, and there’s a reason why the company I lead is definitely not the company my father lead.”  
Nebula still looks worried.  
“Really, it’s fine. And probably less traumatic than having to fight your sister repeatedly or suffer the consequences.”  
Nebula looks down.  
“You know, you can talk to me. I might seem like a trainwreck and still grieving, but I’m always a trainwreck. It’s just sometimes less apparent than others.”  
“If I hadn’t told Quill that Thanos killed Gamora, he wouldn’t have broken free and you wouldn’t have gotten injured, which means that Thanos wouldn’t have won, meaning it’s my fault,” she says, shrugging.  
“Bullshit. I should’ve kept fighting him off. I shouldn’t have let Strange hand over the Time Stone.”  
“I should’ve known he was going after the rest of the Stones and gone to Xandar to keep the Power Stone safe instead of going after Thanos himself.”  
“I thought you were the one who said to quit focusing on the past?”  
Nebula scoffs, looking down. “Fuck you, Stark.”  
“Please, call me Tony. It’ll be absolutely miserable if possibly the only person I know I am friends with didn’t call me by my first name.”  
Nebula looks up. “We’re friends?”  
Tony lifts an eyebrow. “Well, we’re certainly not enemies, and I don’t normally talk about personal, traumatic experiences with acquaintances. So I think so.”  
Nebula smiles.  
“And besides, only friends worry about each other,” Tony adds.  
She smiles, and Tony thinks it’s the first time he’s seen a genuine smile from her.  
“Thanks.”  
They sit in the silence, once more peaceful.  
“Tell me about Earth,” Nebula says, abruptly.  
“Earth? Well, we’d like to say it’s peaceful. It’s really not, take it from me, the ex-weapons dealer. It’s green, and a lot like how Titan apparently was before, but not as high tech yet, we’re still working on that. Uh, humans range from saint-like angels who do nothing wrong or to about as murderous as Thanos, except they target specific people on purpose.”  
“Really? I mean, all the ones I’ve met, the meanest they get are assholes. I don’t think I could even imagine a Thanos-like human,” Nebula says.  
Tony scoffs. “Yeah, well, tough luck. One of my friends,” Tony pauses, a lump forming in his throat, “ex-friend, though that might change if he’s still alive, um, he fought against a human like that.”  
“Ex-friend? What happened?” Nebula asks.  
“We, uh, had a fight. The government wanted to control us heroes, because we’re reckless and destructive sometimes when protecting the Earth, and I supported it. He didn’t. Then one of his friends from his time was framed, and well, I learned the friend killed my parents and we fought.”  
“His time?”  
“Yeah, Steve, err, my ex-friend, got frozen in ice for 70 or so years, and his friend got kidnapped and brainwashed, which is why he killed my parents.”  
Nebula scoffs. “What the fuck?”  
“Yeah, I know, it sounds so ridiculous in retrospective.”  
Nebula scoffs. “So you haven’t made up yet?”  
Tony shakes his head.  
“How long has it been?”  
Tony’s relatively ashamed of the answer. “Two years.”  
“God, human’s are fucking weird,” Nebula scoffs, leaning back.  
“Tell me about it.”  
“Are you worried about him?”  
“When am I not worried about my friends?” Tony asks, and he’s surprised by his honesty.  
Because he is worried. He doesn’t like knowing, and his lack of knowledge worries him.  
But this is a worry that won’t be soothed until they get to Earth, and Tony hoped he can recognize that.


	5. Day 4 - Loneliness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have some kinda fluff

Tony stares at the stars and his heart hurts so much.  
Something so pretty shouldn’t be allowed to exist in a world where only half the people in it can see it.  
It just hurts so much to think that the universe has been depleted by half.  
How many billions, trillions, quadrillions of souls did Thanos take out? Will they ever know?  
Tony’s not sure he can comprehend the amount of destruction that happened in any way except mathematical.  
But this isn’t a mathematical situation. This is purely emotional, and all he can feel is mourning.  
Back home, there are people he misses, people he’s not sure he’ll ever see again.  
And what he wouldn’t give to see them again.  
He knows some he will see, for he has to, for Thanos only killed half the universe.  
Some part of him insists on feeling lonely.  
It’s not that Nebula is bad company. She’s been kind to him, and he’s been kind in response.  
But he misses people, and being with only one other person stuck in space isn’t really a cure for that.  
He misses home, where he belongs.  
To think that less than a week ago, Thanos was still just an imaginary monster in the closet, and Tony was thinking about his wedding with Pepper, about Peter’s actual internship at Stark industries, about Ross’s pending changes to the Accords so that the other Avengers might be able to come home.  
And then it changed.  
All with a single snap.  
Tony forces himself to move away from the window, but he feels sluggish, lethargic, like all his emotions are dragging at him.  
He’s almost numb, except for the overwhelming loneliness.  
He ends up crashing into the chair next to Nebula, and he’s back staring at the stars, at worlds he’ll never go to, at people he’s never met, yet he’s ruined something for all of them.  
They sit in the light of a thousand worlds, basking in their sorrow, their grief, their loneliness for what seems like eons.  
Tony wonders if this is what it feels like to be God, to be always watching yet never interfering, except for a huge change every few millennia.  
He thinks of the gods he’s met and wonders if they ever grow tired of the infinity of immortality, of consequences to their actions, but not facing the consequences yet.  
He wonders what consequences the future holds for Thanos. Loneliness, for sure, and Tony thinks of how Thanos sacrificed the “one person he loved most” to achieve his goal.  
He has to say, he agrees with Quill on that: Thanos didn’t have to do it.  
But maybe, in Thanos’s mind, he did.  
And that thought makes Tony know that Thanos deserves all the loneliness that will come to him, and all the loneliness that has.  
Thanos deserves all the pain and heartache in the world.  
Tony shakes his head, trying to remove the thought from his head. Revenge won’t help him defeat Thanos, and neither will wishes.  
Action? That will.  
But until Tony knows what he has available to him, in terms of people and resources, he can’t do anything, not even plot.  
But thinking about the fact that he doesn’t know deepens the pit in his heart, tearing at his ribs, and he can feel the gremlin of grief dig in its claws as it crawls inside his chest.  
Who has he talked to for the last time? Did they know he loved them? Did they know he was sorry? Did they know he would fix it all if he could? Did he apologize for all the wrong he’s done? All the pain he’s caused?  
He’s still pondering these questions when Nebula stands up and walks beside him. She pauses a moment before she wraps her arms around him.  
Tony can’t help but to freeze a moment, stiffening.  
He can’t remember the last time he had another being touch him.  
Well, he can, but he doesn’t want to remember the circumstances.  
Nebula pauses before letting go, shuffling her feet.  
“Did you just… hug me?” Tony asks, surprised.  
“Yeah, you seemed upset, and that’s what friends so, right?” She pulls her shoulders in, seeming hostile, but Tony brushes it off.  
Instead, he stands up and gives her a proper hug.  
It’s her turn to freeze, and she pauses before returning the hug, cautiously wrapping her arms around Tony.  
He wonders when the last time she had a hug was.  
He decides to push that thought away before he starts worrying again.  
He lets go of her, ending the hug, and in doing so, he lets some of the loneliness go.  
He’d forgotten the power of a good hug, how it takes the weight off your shoulders, reminds you you’re not alone, that you’re a good person.  
He hadn’t realized how much he needed one.  
“Friends do give each other hugs,” he says, smiling at her, and she smiles back, a little cautious at first, but it grows.  
“Yeah,” she murmurs, still smiling, but it quickly fades, and she looks almost on the verge of tears.  
Tony quickly sits her down and looks at her. “What’s wrong?”  
Her shoulders go up a little, then back down, small movements like waves in a pond. “I miss them, even though they were so annoying,” she whispers.  
“Yeah, me too,” he murmurs, and he stares back out the window, the ocean of stars glimmering back at him.  
He wishes he could dive in and never have to come out, and have this whole thing be over.  
But he’s tried that before, and he’s learned the hard way that it’s not worth trying to lose yourself when you lose so much along with it.  
But it doesn’t mean the wish went away.  
He sighs, returning his gaze to Nebula, but now she’s staring into the glow, only the window keeping them from the glittery black fabric of the universe.  
“It’s just so lonely,” she whispers.  
“Not forever,” he reminds her.  
“It feels like it,” she replies.  
“I know. But forever is only really forever when it comes to the stars, and not even they last.”  
She looks up at him. She pauses, gaze drifting, then she snaps her attention back to him, sorrowful.  
“Can I have another hug?” She asks.  
Tony smiles, nodding, and he opens his arms.  
It does certainly feel less lonely when you’re hugging someone.


	6. Day 5 - What if?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The what-ifs never helped anyone

Tony sits in the semi darkness of the ship, staring off.  
“But what if we could have done something?” He asks, turning to face Nebula.  
She sighs, rolling her eyes. “Woulda, coulda, shoulda,” she replies.  
“Aliens have a concept of that? Weird,” Tony murmurs, but he’s not genuinely surprised. He’s too distracted by the ideas of what could have been.  
Nebula glares at him. “In any case, there’s nothing that can fix the past.”  
“The time stone,” Tony replies immediately, and he can feel Nebula’s glare intensify, even though he’s not looking at her.  
“Okay, nothing we have,” she retorts, immediately.  
“That we know of.”  
She huffs exasperatedly. “Okay then, what would you change?” She speaks loudly, and Tony turns to look at her.  
“Well, for starters, I’d have turned the ship around and sent Strange back to Earth like he wanted.”  
Nebula shrugs. “Thanos went to Earth anyway. And who knows if you would’ve been able to turn it around. And, you probably would’ve been shot at upon reentry, and if you did get past your planet’s defenses, your crash landing would’ve killed people.”  
Tony pauses. “Well, what if you hadn’t told Quill about Gamora?”  
Nebula looks down. “He would’ve found out somehow.”  
“And if we’d stopped Quill from attacking Thanos?”  
Nebula cackles. “Like you can stop that idiot from doing anything.”  
Tony’s face flushes angrily. “Okay, well what if we’d gotten the glove off before Thanos woke up?”  
Nebula looks at Tony like he’s an idiot. “Doesn’t change the fact that he’s a powerful Titan, even without the glove.”  
“What if we found a different way to get the glove off?”  
“That doesn’t mean it’d succeed.”  
Tony glares at Nebula. “Is there any change to the past that you’d think would work?”  
Nebula stares back at him. “Changing the past won’t necessarily change anything about where we are now.”  
Tony sighs, throwing his hands back up in the air.  
“I mean, since you still think changing the past will help us, what other what ifs do you have?” She asks, sarcasm edging her voice, and Tony decides to treat it like a genuine question just to spite her.  
Tony shrugs. “Well, I could refuse to let Stephen trade the time stone for me.”  
Nebula stares at Tony. “Really? How would you force him to listen? If I recall, he said it was the only way, and I’m pretty sure he believed that.”  
Tony shrugs. “I could’ve taken the stone from him.”  
“And have Thanos target you more?”  
It’s Tony’s turn to be exasperated, but he refuses to give up. “I’d be happy to die if it meant saving the world.”  
“Well, I think Strange thought you being alive would save it, so one of you must be wrong, and I don’t think it’s the guy who saw into the future.”  
“Well I don’t care!” Tony snaps.  
Nebula stares.  
This is the first real anger Tony has felt since Thanos’s snap, and to be honest, his first real anger for a long time. It courses through him, burning at his veins and his heart, but the flames steer away from his head, leaving his thoughts clear.  
“Because, if I were dead, maybe we could have still won. Who knows? Maybe we’d still have the time stone. If I were dead,” Tony pauses, and he remembers all the reasons he wishes he were dead. But a very vivid and recent one comes to life, and it makes Tony’s eyes burn, but it also forces him to continue.  
“If I were dead, there’d be someone else to avenge, instead of a seventeen-year-old boy who left in the middle of a school field trip to save the world because he knew he couldn’t protect the little guy if there was no little guy! I should be dead instead of the boy who had a future, who hadn’t yet ruined his life. He should be alive instead of the guy who really can’t think about saving the world and making sacrifices without having a fucking panic attack in the middle of the restaurant, because that boy?” Tony forces the air through his lungs, and it sounds heavy.   
“That boy really is a hero. I’m not, and I never should have let people convince me to pretend to play one.”  
Nebula stares at him, and it’s no longer with anger or skepticism.  
She actually has pity in her gaze.  
And it just pisses Tony off more, but he knows he can’t avoid her in the small ship, so he just turns away from her, back towards the window, towards the stars that he helped ruin by not doing enough.  
Because nothing he does is enough.  
He’s pretty sure Nebula is just letting him wallow in his self-pity and self-hatred just because she doesn’t know how to do anything to help, but it doesn’t really make him feel better.  
What would make him feel better is seeing the smile of one of the best people he’d ever known.  
And his luck is that he never will again.  
And that is one of the few what-ifs based in the future that he has: what if he sees Peter again? But conversely, Tony also wonders what if he never sees Peter again until the day he dies?  
Tony knows he can change the future, but he can’t remember the last time he changed it for the better.  
Changing Stark Industries away from weaponry? Almost got himself killed.  
The Avengers? No longer together, and the one time they most definitely needed to win, they lost.  
Ultron? Turned on the humans it was supposed to protect.  
And that was only the first ones Tony thought of at the top of his head.  
“You know that what ifs never helped anyone?” A voice startles him from his pity party, and he turns to look at Nebula.  
“Doesn’t mean you can stop them from happening,” Tony whispers, and it’s mostly to himself even though he knows Nebula is supposed to hear it, and she can.  
She sighs, looking down as she sits next to him, and in his peripherals, he can see the glow of a million half-alive worlds on her skin, shining light on both of them. He lets them bask in the glow, and he wishes he could spend a minute for each lost soul, but he knows he doesn’t even have enough time to spend even a second for how many were lost by one action.  
And if he did?  
He’s not sure he could actually manage to use it wisely enough to save them.  
But it’d be nice to imagine the what if he could.


	7. Day 6 - Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night isn't always good

Tony lets himself drift off, sleep taking him earlier than he’d experienced in a long time.

And the dreams wash over him, dragging him into the ocean of his mind.

 

_ The wind blows into his face as he enjoys a cocktail, wrapped up in blankets. The night shines down on him, and even though it’s cold, he can’t feel it through the thick fabric. _

_ He turns when the glass door opens, and he sees he has company. _

_ His friend’s smile warms Tony’s heart, and he can’t help but to smile in return as his friend sits next to him. _

_ They sit in happy silence for a moment. _

_ Then Tony looks back and jumps, staring in horror. _

_ Half ash, bloodied and bruised, Tony gapes as he stares into the eyes of Steve Rogers, one ash like the rest of his body, the other glowing yellow with the mind stone. _

_ His hand covers his mouth as he thinks of all the sorries he has to say. _

_ But Steve just stares sadly. _

_ “I’m sorry,” Steve says. _

_ It takes Tony a moment to register what he said, but when he does, his hand falls back to his lap. _

_ “What do you have to be sorry for?” _

_ Steve shrugs. “I should have protected Vision better, and the mind stone,” he replies. _

_ Tony stares and shakes his head, slowly, accelerating until the view turns into a blur. _

_ “It’s not your fault, Steve,” Tony insists, and all he gets in response is a shrug. _

_ “Does it matter? We still lost,” Steve points out. _

_ “Not your fault,” Tony repeats, and Steve smiles. _

_ “That may be so, but in any case, does it matter?” And Tony watches in abject horror as Steve dissolves, and the rest of the scene follows suit. _

 

_ Tony is back on Titan, and he has to fight the scream rising in his throat. _

_ He doesn’t have the words for how much he doesn’t want to be back here. _

_ He crumples, folding like paper, and crashes into the golden silken dust. It chokes him, and between that and trying to supress the scream, he can’t breathe. _

_ He’s not sure he wants to. _

_ A hand grabs his shoulder, gently, and Tony looks up bewildered. _

_ Stephen Strange stares back at him sadly, but it doesn’t look like the doctor Tony knew. _

_ Half his face is aged beyond recognition, wrinkled like old leather, and hair shocking white. The other half, much like Steve’s, looked just as it had when Stephen was alive, except the eye, which had become the Eye of Agamotto, glowing green with the power of the time stone. _

_ “Oh, Tony,” he says, “Didn’t you listen when I told you it was the only way?” _

_ “It can’t be,” Tony whispers, fighting back the burn in his eyes as they water. _

_ Stephen shrugs. “I don’t know why you think that. I’m the one who saw 14 million futures, aren’t I?” _

_ Tony looks down. “But why would the universe need me?” He asks. _

_ Stephen sits down next to him. “Why wouldn’t it?” _

_ “Have I not caused enough trouble already?” _

_ “The future chose you, so apparently not.” _

_ Tony shakes his head. “I’m no chosen one, Strange.” _

_ He smiles cryptically. “Isn’t that what they all say?” _

_ Tony goes to look up, but the world is spinning too much and all he can see is the glowing brightness of the time stone, before it crashes into black. _

 

_ When Tony can see again, he has no idea where he is. _

_ It’s dark, with an eclipse shining down on him, and he sits in a puddle. _

_ He stands up and notices it’s snowing, but he can’t feel the cold. _

_ He tries to touch one, but when he feels its warmth, he knows he’s not in the snow. _

_ It’s ash. _

_ He almost feels sick to his stomach, and goes to turn away. _

_ He immediately crashes into someone else. _

_ He recognizes her from a picture Nebula showed him, a happy girl with her friends, and he knows her name: Gamora. _

_ She seems to be following the same pattern as the others; half of her is bloodied, as if she’d fallen, and the other side has a glowing orange eye. _

The soul stone _ , his mind supplies, and then he realises what Nebula meant by sacrifice. _

_ Thanos threw Gamora off a cliff. _

_ Now he is about to be sick, but he feels she has something important to tell him. _

_ But she doesn’t say anything. _

_ “Can sacrifices be undone?” He manages to get out. _

_ She shrugs. “Depends. Are you willing to do what it takes?” _

_ Tony nods, slowly at first then desperately. _

_ He’s not sure he has anything left to sacrifice anymore. _

_ “Even if it’s the one thing you don’t want to live without?” _

_ Tony shrugs. “It’s not like I haven’t already been there.” _

_ Gamora looks at him sadly. _

_ And the world fades into snowy ash. _

 

_ His new location is bathed in an artificial glow. It’s bright enough that Tony has to cover his eyes until they adjust.  _

_ And when they do, the view is breathtaking. _

_ Tony gapes as he sees so much around him, lost trinkets from all over the universe, things he can’t even imagine, much less a purpose for them. _

_ He picks them up at random, trying to figure out how they work, especially the ones that seem to run on electricity, and he gets shocked for his efforts. _

_ But the machinery calls to him, and his imagination and curiosity love it here, wherever here is. _

_ “We’re at Knowhere,” a familiar voice booms, and Tony jolts as he realises he must have said that out loud. _

_ “Nowhere?” Tony asks, not quite facing his friend yet as he finishes his inspection of the gadget in his hands. _

_ A loud laugh bellows from behind Tony. “Not nowhere, as you’re thinking, but Knowhere.” _

_ Tony shrugs off the cryptidness as he decides to put down the device and turns around. _

_ Even though Tony’s had many shocks so far in his dreamlands, they don’t seem to stop. _

_ Thor smiles at him, but it’s not a Thor Tony recognizes. His hair is shaved off, and he has red lines of paint streaked on his cheek to his collarbone. As in his dream’s fashion, half of Thor’s face is destroyed, this time burnt with lightning-esque scars, and Thor’s eye looks burnt out, like it was the root of an explosion. However, Thor’s other half, while still featuring the shortened hair, looks still pretty normal, save for the ruby glow from his eye socket of the reality stone. _

_ Tony knows he’s staring, but it’s so far one of the more gruesome sights he’s seen so far this night, but at the same time, it’s a little less disturbing. _

_ Thor’s eyes follow Tony as the engineer resumes his path around the room. _

_ “Are you here to tell me it’s not my fault, too?” Tony asks, running his hands over metal and plastic and rock. _

_ Thor chuckles. “Oh, don’t worry mortal. You’re in over your head. Even I am, and I’ve defeated more enemies than I could count.” _

_ Tony freezes a little, Thor’s words turning his blood to ice. “That’s not comforting,” Tony remarks, forcing himself to keep moving. _

_ Thor shrugs. “I thought I could hide the stones from Thanos. Imagine!” _

_ Tony looks at Thor. “Better idea than some of the other people I’ve met.” _

_ Thor returns Tony’s gaze steadily. “And yet, still not good enough.” _

_ “Something has to be,” Tony says. “It’s innovation. We just haven’t found it yet.” _

_ Thor shrugs. “Maybe. But maybe we never will.” _

_ Tony shakes his head, anger and stubborn resilience flowing through him like fire. “Can’t think that way. If we do,” Tony shrugs. “Then we’ll never improve.” _

_ “And how much do you think you can improve in a lifetime such as yours? I’ve been around much longer than you and I haven’t found something better yet.” _

_ Tony’s jaw sets as he turns on Thor. “Yes, but I’ve been forced to improve since the day I was born. You? You’ve only spent part of your life thinking you weren’t good enough. Me? My father made sure I knew I was a failure from the day I was born. Trying to improve is all I have known.” _

_ Thor freezes, and Tony immediately regrets his words. _

_ “Sorry,” Tony whispers, looking down. _

_ Thor gently places a hand on Tony’s shoulder. “No, you’re right. Maybe that’s what we need.” _

_ Tony looks up, but the room starts shaking and in a flash it explodes, so bright that Tony can’t see. _

_ But the electricity and lightning are ingrained into his eyes even as darkness takes over. _

 

_ Light returns to Tony’s vision and he’s not sure where he is. _

_ It’s a classy building, like a new age courthouse, all white like marble, but the walls are too smooth to be stone, and when Tony brushes a hand over it, it doesn’t feel like anything he’s felt before - smooth like plastic, but with the coolness of stone. _

_ Tony traces the walls with his hand as he follows them. He ends up in a courtroom, red plush seats in front of a balcony with a large golden star on the wall. _

_ He stares at the star, looking at the red, purple, and white tracing on it. _

_ “I’ve always thought the Nova Corps was just a bunch of stuck-up jerks, but this is some nice architecture, I guess, if you’re into that kind of thing.” _

_ Tony spins, startled, and he faces Star-lord, looking like a smug asshole like normal. _

_ Tony can only see the normal part of his face, but he notices his eye burns violet, a royal powerful color that Tony can only assume is the power stone. _

_ Quill looks up, his face fully shown know, and Tony can’t help but to gape at how out of place Quill looks in the room, all dirty and grunge and powerful, and he dominates the room, as the damaged half of his face looks like obsidian with purple lava coursing through it, and Tony feels reminded of the time his mother took him to Hawai’i and they visited the volcanoes: powerful beyond imagination, violent under the surface, no matter how calm it might seem now, but capable of creation just as much as destruction. _

_ Quill smirks as Tony stares. “Like what you see?” _

_ Tony flushes briefly, but ignores the comment. “So I guess your way of telling me it’s not my fault is going to be different than everyone else’s, since you have to be an asshole,” Tony complains, rolling his eyes. _

_ Quill glares at him. “Well, I’m not the one who got injured, now am I?” _

_ Tony shrugs, anger starting to boil in his veins. “I’m not the one who lost his temper.” _

_ Quill flushes. “And you wouldn’t have done the same thing?” _

_ Tony looks down. “It couldn’t have waited until the gauntlet was off?” He asks, soft, and he’s reminded of how he can’t blame Quill, because he’s right: Tony would have done the same thing. _

_ Quill pauses, unsure. He scoffs, and looks away again. But he remains silent, and Tony knows he won that one. _

_ “I mean, you’re right, it’s not really your fault, but then again, can anyone take on a Mad Titan?” _

_ Tony shrugs. “I guess we’ll find out, because while you acted out your revenge as soon as you could, I have to wait so I can come up with the worst available revenge.” _

_ Quill looks up, surprised. “I didn’t really take you as a revenge guy.” _

_ Tony laughs loudly, startling himself. “Well, I am an Avenger, aren’t I?” _

_ Quill blinks, but suddenly the room’s white ambient glow becomes bright, and soon enough, Tony can’t see the other anymore. _

_ He’s not sure he cares anymore. _

_ He’s been reminded he has something to do. _

 

_ But he can’t wake up yet. _

_ He can sense it, but he doesn’t know why. _

_ He wants to get his revenge. _

_ But something has other plans. _

_ So his dreams continue. _

 

_ Tony has no idea where he is now, and he studies the halls. It appears to be a palace, and his curiosity gets the better of him and he begins wandering. _

_ His feet carry him around like he’s been here before, but his mind soaks up all the beautiful architecture. _

_ And then he crashes into someone, and Tony jumps. _

_ “Loki?” He asks, not able to see the god of mischief’s face. _

_ The god shakes his head, and lifts it up, and Tony can’t help to gape. _

_ One side of his face is blue and scaly, a red eye peering out as if it were a fish, lost in a deep blue ocean. The other is just as Tony remembers from before, save for one change: the other eye, looking like the ocean at the Bahamas, shines at him with the power of the space stone. _

_ Once Tony can move his eyes from the mismatched face before him, he notices deep blue-purple bruises lining Loki’s throat, and the question is out of Tony’s mouth before he can think about it. _

_ “What happened?” _

_ Loki laughs, and the crackle of it sounds scraping against Tony’s ears. _

_ “That’s a story for later. But I have something more important to tell you, Man of Iron.” _

_ The name prickles at Tony’s skin; he can’t remember the last time he was called that, but it reminds him of Thor, and suddenly Tony wants to cry, missing another time and place when all was better. _

_ Loki guides Tony to an extravagant couch, and they sit down. _

_ “You have been chosen,” Loki starts off, and Tony interrupts him. _

_ “So Strange told me.” _

_ Loki grimaces. “Oh, you’ve already talked to the wizard.” _

_ “You met Strange?” Tony asks. _

_ Loki nods, but waves it off with his hand. “Another story. This is still more important.” _

_ The demigod looks Tony dead in the eye, and Tony knows he should be afraid, considering he’s staring a being that could easily kill him directly in the eye, and isn’t that a sign of aggression? _

_ Instead, Tony feels wary, like whatever Loki is about to tell him is going to change things, and it might be worse than before. _

_ “This dream, it’s meant for me to talk to you. An illusion, but I know not how I am using it. For you see, I know not even if I am alive.” _

_ Tony looks at Loki confused. “What do you mean?” _

_ Loki shrugs. “I mean, I am using this dream to talk to you. I couldn’t really control it, so I am sorry if the other visions were disturbing. But I don’t know if I am alive or not. What I do know Thanos attacked the Asgardian refuge vehicle, and killed most of them. Bruce was with us, but Heimdall sent him to Earth before Thanos killed him. And I? Well,” Loki sighs and rubs his throat, and Tony knows he’s about to get a question answered. “I gave up my life for Thor’s and in the process gave Thanos the space stone.” _

_ “So you’re dead,” Tony says, but Loki shakes his head. _

_ “Have you ever met a man who can still perform magic from the dead and be conscious of it?” Loki cackles, and the noise hurts Tony’s ears, but he can’t argue with the trickster. _

_ Loki waves a hand. “Well, I hope you slept well, Stark, for now, I have to leave.” _

  
And like that, Tony awakens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> art for the chapter: https://kraefandoms.tumblr.com/post/184353453834/some-old-art-for-a-fanfiction-i-wrote-i-might


	8. Day 7 - The Hero's Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All's well that ends well.

As they finish packing up, Tony stares at Nebula.  
“You sure you have the right coordinates?” He asks.  
She nods. “I’m receiving a signal off of your suit to right there.” She points at the map, and it shows Wakanda.  
“I don’t know why Friday wants me to go to Wakanda, or why the others would be there, but I guess that’s where we’re going.”  
And they begin reentry.  
Tony is honestly pretty terrified by the fire. It rushes past the windows, licking at the ship as it falls, and Tony’s surprised that they don’t feel any heat inside.  
He remembers his father telling him about the heat that astronauts talked about from inside the Apollo missions, the space shuttles.  
Tony also remembers never wanting to be an astronaut or wanting to go to space.  
But here he is, and it’s certainly something.  
And they’re past the fire and into the sky and clouds, and Tony can’t help the gasp that comes out as he stares.  
He just can’t wrap his mind around the fact that it looks exactly like the Earth he left behind.  
Nebula stares in awe a little too.  
“I didn’t expect someone as ugly as Quill to come from a planet that’s this beautiful,” she murmurs and turns to smirk at Tony.  
He smirks back, but part of him is still afraid and anxious.  
He knows from experience that just because something looks the same from afar doesn’t mean that when you reach the surface it won’t be completely changed.  
And that’s what he’s afraid of.  
Who knows who will be left?  
He certainly doesn’t yet.  
He just knows that the universe loves to take away things he cares about.  
His mind rushes through the people he can’t stand to lose that he doesn’t know if he’s already lost or not: Pepper, Rhodes, Steve, Natasha, Happy, Wanda, Scott, Thor, Pepper, Rhodes, Steve, Natasha, Happy, Wanda, Scott, Thor, Pepper, Rhodes, Steve, Natasha, Happy, Wanda, Scott, Thor, Pepper, Rhodes, Steve, Natasha, Happy, Wanda, Scott, Thor-  
They’re closer to the surface now, and Tony’s starting to be afraid.  
“We’re not slowing down yet,” he remarks.  
Nebula shrugs. “It has an autopilot landing system.”  
That soothes Tony a little, but he can’t shake his nervousness.  
The ground draws nearer, and Tony stares at the Wakandan hills below him.  
But the ship still acts like the ground is much further away than it is.  
“Are you sure it’s calibrated right?” He asks, fretting.  
Nebula shoots him a dirty look. “Calm down. The ship knows what it’s doing.”  
“Have you looked outside the window? I don’t think it does!”  
“Shut up, Stark!” She snaps, but she also does decide to peek out the window herself.  
“Fuck!” she says, staring at the rapidly approaching ground.   
She quickly spins around to look at the controls and studies them.  
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she repeats.  
“That doesn’t sound good,” Tony says, desperately trying to keep his breath normal, but he’s not having very much success.  
“I don’t actually know how to land this, and the altimeter has added a good 250 feet to how high up we actually are.”  
Tony starts to grow dizzy, and he can feel a panic attack creeping up on him, and between the fear of crashing and the apprehension of finding out who survived his disastrous choices, he can’t stop the hyperventilating.  
The green hills zoom toward them and Tony shuts his eyes as they crash.

But they don’t, and Tony cracks an eye open.  
He gapes out the window as he sees a view.  
“Okay, there’s no way this is Wakanda, third-world country, like all the reports say.” He says.  
Nebula is also staring out the window in shock.  
“This must be first-world country Wakanda of the legends,” Tony continues in awe.  
The whole city seems to be made of vibranium, and Tony’s never seen this much in one place.  
In fact, the most he’s seen in one place is T’Challa’s suit.  
Which makes it click, that of course Wakanda isn’t a third world country, it’s one of the few places on Earth with vibranium, making it incredibly rich.  
The real hills are still approaching, but no longer at a worrying pace.  
This is the ground the altimeter read.  
And Tony spends the rest of the descent staring at Wakanda.  
On the far side, he can see thousands of tents set up, and he wonders what must be happening over there that they are so close to the city, yet not actually in it.  
The rest of the city seems to bask in the sunlight, and it’s one of the most gorgeous yet powerful looking things Tony has ever seen, a mix between the African paintings he’s seen in museums and the new-age sci-fi that Peter made him read with him sometimes.  
He guiltily thinks Peter would have loved it here, and he has to forcibly stop the thoughts that follow.  
Nebula turns to stare at Tony. “Does the rest of Earth look like this?”  
He shakes his head. “Not at all.”  
“Wow,” Nebula says, starstruck as she resumes looking at it all.  
“Wow is right,” Tony murmurs.  
As the ship actually lands, Nebula seems to look around.  
“Looks like we have company,” she says.  
Tony jolts, and looks out the window.  
He sees a group of figures standing on a hill close to the landing spot.  
It takes him a moment to recognize any of them, but when he recognizes his first, he almost weeps with relief.  
“Steve,” he whispers, and he grabs Nebula.  
“Come on,” he says.  
“What?” She asks.  
He smiles.  
“Earth to Tony, there are still some people you care about who are still alive.”  
Nebula looks at Tony, surprised and confused.  
“In other words, we’ve arrived at our destination, let’s go meet the ground crew.”  
And he drags her through the opening doors into the sunlight.


End file.
